Estou doente. Constipação. Ou seja, estou chato a sério.
Hoje cheguei ao serviço às 9h45m, tal era a carraspana com que estava. Temos uma farmácia ao pé do escritório. Ninguém fala inglês. Fui lá com a YuYu. Segue-se excerto:
(à chegada à farmácia)
YuYu: OK, so what pain do you have?
Eu: Well... it's kind of a general thing...
Y: Headache?
E: Yes.
Y: Sore throat?
E: Oh yeah...
Y: Runny nose?
E: You bet.
Y: Fever?
E: Don't think so, but hell, who knows? ...
...
E: Tylenol???!!! I want the Powerful Chinese Medicine!
Y: There is no Powerful Chinese Medicine.
E: What??? You don't understand. This is a vicious bug. This is a mutated Sino-Portuguese Life Destroyer. You gotta give me the hard stuff!
Y: All Chinese medicine is slow acting. It takes time...
E: How much time?
Y: Three month, six month...
E: What???
Y: You have to be patient. (a paciência dos Chinses merece um post à parte)
E: I'm Portuguese! I don't know what that means. Give me the one with snake blood, scorpion venom and roots of men-eating plants. That's the one I need!
Y: I don't know that one. I can get you something for your throat...
E: Powerfull stuff?
Y: No, not really...
E: OK, whatever.... Bring it on...
...
(no pagamento dos 22 RMB....)
E: Ask them if they have discount for Putaoya Pengyou.
Y: I don't think they have...
E: Are you sure?
Y: You ask.
E: OK, I trust you... But they should have...
...
(no elevador de regresso ao serviço)
E: Is this Powerful Tylenol?
Y: No, actually it's weaker than the Western one. It's made in China.
E: You're joking?!
Y: No, no. It's for Chinese. We can't take medicine so strong. At the place I worked before, my boss was American and he gave me half the dosage of Western medicine he took, and I was dizzy all day...
E: Can I buy the Powerful Tylenol anywhere?
Y: No.
E: OK...
...
(no escritório)
E: What am I supposed to do with this?
Y: You put in very hot water and they expand. Then you drink.
E: How many do I put in the glass?
Y: Three or four.
E: It tastes bad, right?
Y: No, not really.
E: I drink and then what?
Y: Well, you fill it again and drink again.
E: Really?
Y: Yes, I drink at least 10 glasses, very hot. And then eat the plants.
E: But you're small! I should probably drink 20 glasses,
Y: Probably.
E: Are you gonna go back to your friends and say: "I made the stupid Portuguese drink that awful stuff, Ha!Ha!Ha!","And then, I even got him to eat the thing! Ha!Ha!Ha!? Are you?
Y: No.
E: You're sure?
Y: I'm not like you.
E: OK... You're right, I would probably do it...
Y: I know.
...
As quatro.... sei lá.... coisas.
Expandem-se, de facto...
Expandem-se com fartura na realidade...
Querem que eu coma isto? Se calhar fica para a próxima...
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